Falling out of Expectations // In My Studio


Realizing lately how often I fail my own expectations. Consistently, my mind is filled with inspirational ideas -- things I want to create and share and contribute to the world. I get giddy with the lists I make, pages of 'great' ideas, but when it comes to producing / actually creating what I have in my head... I fall short. 

This makes me want to delete everything. Crumple up the sketch and throw it away. I pout in solitude about the loss of this great idea because I failed my own expectations, and at the end of the day I have nothing to show people whatsoever. 

I'm coming to terms with the truth that even a failure is a success. It puts vision into perspective -- clarifying that I still need practice, or I need to spend more time solidifying my expectations and perfecting the outcome. Falling out of line with my own expectations is a good thing, it's a humble reality. The honest conclusion is that I continue to envy others for their successes, but I've realized that those who have achieved the success I want have tried, failed, failed again, improved, learned from it, and bettered themselves. I aspire to nothing more than this. 

Chelsea Spear is an art director and editorial producer in Portland, Oregon.